Let’s be honest: working in a toxic workplace is like emotional quicksand. One minute you’re trying to do your job, the next you’re questioning your worth, Googling “Is it me?” and crying into your office-issued coffee cup.

Spoiler…It’s not you.

Toxic work environments don’t just mess with your job satisfaction, they can affect your mental health, your family life, and your sense of self. When things don’t change (and let’s face it, they usually don’t), it may be time to call it: you deserve better.

First, Let’s Talk About The Mind Games

Whether it’s a narcissistic boss, a micromanaging control freak, or the kind of coworker who makes Regina George seem chill, toxic workplaces mess with your head.

They chip away at your confidence, turn everything into your fault, and convince you that you’re the problem.

You’re not.
You’re still showing up. You’re still trying.
And that, my friend, makes you strong as hell.

Why It’s So Hard to Leave

I’ve been there, more than once.
Sometimes you stay because the job offers flexibility or a steady paycheck. Sometimes it’s fear of the unknown: What if I land somewhere even worse?

I stayed in one job for longer than I should have, purely because of the flexibility it gave me as a mum. I thought I’d never find another workplace that offered the same understanding, but turns out, there are loads of employers who actually value flexibility and wellbeing. Wild, right?

Feeling Stuck? You’re Not Alone

If you’re currently dealing with a toxic workplace, let me say this:
I hear you. I see you. You’re not being dramatic. You’re protecting your peace, and that is brave.

Here are a few steps that helped me climb out of the chaos. I hope they help you, too:

Step 1: Assess What’s Actually Going On

Ask yourself:

• Is this a toxic person or a toxic culture?
• Is there a breach of policy or code of conduct?
• Are others being treated this way?
• Is there a union, HR rep, or support contact you can speak to?

Talk to trusted coworkers if it feels safe. Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone can give you strength, and sometimes it takes a mini alliance to stand tall.

Step 2: Put Feelers Out (Without Quitting Just Yet)

This is the time to:

• Check internal transfer options (you never know!)
• Start browsing job ads. Just looking can be empowering!
• Revisit your goals: Do you want to stay in your industry? Pivot? Upskill? Start fresh?

Even if you’re not ready to leap, opening the window lets a bit of fresh air in.

Step 3: Use Your Network

Your friends, family, and ex-colleagues are more connected than you think.

Tell people you trust that you’re looking. You never know which friend-of-a-friend might know of a great opportunity. Also, recruiters are worth their weight in gold when you’re feeling stuck, they’ll help you identify roles you didn’t even know existed.

Step 4: Ask the Right Questions at Interviews

You’re interviewing them, too. Try these:

• “What are the current pressure points in the team?”
• “What would success look like in this role?”
• “How would you describe the team culture?”

These questions tell you a lot about the environment without making it awkward, and help you avoid jumping out of the frying pan into a gas fire.

Step 5: Look After Yourself (Seriously)

Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and face masks (though those help). It’s about:

• Prioritising rest
• Saying no without guilt
• Getting outdoors (beach or bush walks = free therapy)
• Giving yourself permission to dream of something better

Leaving a toxic job takes courage. Be kind to yourself along the way.

When It’s Time to Go…GO!

There comes a point where staying is doing more harm than good.

If you’re dreading work, crying before logging in, or questioning your worth daily, that’s your sign. Walk away. You can find a team that values you. You can have flexibility, fulfillment, and support.

And yes, you’re allowed to ask about flexibility in interviews. It’s not pushy. It’s smart.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Too Sensitive – You’re Just in the Wrong Place

Toxic workplaces will have you doubting everything about yourself. But the truth is: if you’re reading this and recognising those red flags, you’re already on your way out. And that’s a beautiful thing.

You deserve:

Respect
Support
A workplace that doesn’t give you anxiety hives

So take the risk. Face the fear. And remember:
You’ve survived worse.
Now it’s time to thrive better.