Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday! The anticipation, the countdown of workdays until absolute freedom and relaxation. Flying across the country or even across the world, watching in-flight entertainment uninterrupted, reading a book (an actual book!), maybe even sipping a celebratory drink. Breezing through security, hopping in a cab, and flopping onto a hotel bed that you didn’t have to make. Lazy breakfasts, beach sunsets, live music, late nights, and sleep-ins. Honestly, was it all just a dream?

Don’t get me wrong, family holidays can still be great… just a very different kind of great.

They now require military-grade planning, spreadsheets, snack negotiations, and patience that would make a monk proud. They can be magical… or they can make you question your life choices while whispering “we should’ve just gone to the local pool” into your $20 resort ice cream…now face down on the tiles.

Planning only goes so far

Take our most recent holiday to Japan. We had scored an amazing deal with Jetstar during their return for free sale. We ummed and ahhhed over booking the flights for a couple of days before we said, stuff it, let’s do it! It was going to cost us less to fly to Japan than to fly return from Brisbane to Melbourne! We had only recently come back from an absolutely amazing trip to Malaysia, and we were feeling smug. Confident. Ready.

Rookie mistake.

 *The best family holiday destination you haven’t considered? Read more about our trip to Malaysia here*

Keeping secrets saves your sanity

We had a whole year to plan…what could go wrong?! Well, quite a bit, but we didn’t realise that just yet! We had been wanting to travel to Japan for a long time. With kids obsessed with anime and desperate to go to Universal Studios and Disneyland, we knew there would be excitement overload when we told them we’d be going to Japan…in a year. That was the first mistake. Telling them as soon as we booked the flights meant that it was constantly on their minds. Cue 12 months of:

• “When are we going to Japan?”
• “How many more sleeps?”
• “We HAVE to go to the Kirby Café!”
• “Can I meet Mario?”

Even the two-year-old joined in. I aged at least a decade.

Curveballs and concussions

What we could never have predicted was that our 5 year old son ended up with post concussion syndrome a few months after we booked our flights. This then turned into a behavioural storm and an eventual diagnosis of ADHD (something we had long suspected before the concussion). We trialled some different medications, but they either had the opposite effect or didn’t really make much difference. The one medication that actually did help, was banned in Japan. Brilliant!

*Read more about our experience with ADHD here*

So as the trip got closer the worries set in. Knowing that we were going to have to get through this holiday with a kid with almost zero impulse control, has difficulty regulating his emotions and frequently acts like a wild animal on steroids filled us with hesitation! Not the greatest situation when you are about to holiday in a country that is experiencing a tourist boom, has insanely packed attractions and is full of overstimulating environments. With all this in mind, we cut back our plans significantly and built our itinerary using lessons we had learnt from previous trips. These tips are universal, regardless of where you’re headed or whether you’re travelling with a neurodivergent child.

Our top tips for travelling with children and saving your sanity

1 – Pack light (like, really light!)
We’ve worked out a system that works for us with a 3, 6 and 9 year old. Each child gets a backpack that has everything they need in it. We take one suitcase for both of us and a backpack each. This means we only have to check in one suitcase. It makes getting to and from airports so much easier and gives the kids some responsibility. We make sure we have a washing machine in the accommodation or even a laundromat close by every 3-4 days, so we only need 4 changes of clothes. This is much harder if you need warm clothes, but it has worked for us so far! If your kids can’t carry their own backpacks, don’t even try this method…otherwise you’ll end up needing 6 arms to carry them all!

2 – Book apartment style accommodation (where possible)
More space = more sanity. The extra room, ability to split up the kids when they are at each other’s throats and to have access to cooking and washing facilities, makes the days so much easier. It also makes a holiday so much nicer when you can put the kids to bed and stay up later to get some adult time to yourselves to sneak in ice cream or some cocktails 🙂

3 – Tablets are a lifesaver
I know, I know…screen time. But hear me out: airport delays, restaurant chaos, overtired little gremlins. Sometimes a tablet is the difference between calm and catastrophic. No shame in the survival game.

4 – Don’t overfill your day
Try two attractions max per day. It’s tempting to pack your days full of amazingness, but pare it back. Hit big-ticket spots early when attention spans are fresher. Bribes work. Lollipops, ice cream promises, it’s all fair game. Just don’t try to do it all. Trust me.

5 – Be flexible 
Weather, tantrums, mystery illnesses, may and let’s face it, probably will happen. We had a wish list instead of a strict itinerary and planned each day the night before as much as possible. For some attractions, yes, you’ll need to book ahead. But leave room for adjustment. Rigidity + kids = chaos.

Final Thoughts: Is It Worth It?

Family travel might not feel relaxing in the traditional sense. You probably won’t return “rested.” But it’s still so worth it. Your kids might whinge about everything being in a different language or that their hotel pancake “tastes weird”… but you’re building memories. Big ones.

Oh, and another thing. If you’ve found an amazing deal and it means pulling the kids out of school to travel, do it! Experiencing another country, culture, food and history is priceless and an education in itself. It’s definitely worth the lost couple of weeks of normal class time. We have been very lucky that our school has been incredibly supportive of this approach.

Travel gives kids new perspectives, challenges their comfort zones, and gives you a chance to be somewhere other than the local playground.

So go. Explore. Eat the weird snack. Take the wrong train. Laugh when it all goes sideways. And soak it up while your legs still work and your kids still want to be seen with you in public.